Skip to main content

No Good Place To Do Mutra Visarjan In This Country...

At least, that's what Chatur Ramalingam seems to think. However, many of our fellow Indians seem to disagree with him. According to them, there are nothing BUT places to do mutra visarjan (for all you poor, masochistic folks - ah, I mean, non-movie-going folks - out there, mutra visarjan means urine expulsion). In case you haven't guessed already, we're going to be talking about one of India's most widely criticized and even more widely practiced issues - public urination.

I'm not exactly saying that it's our people's fault - I mean, come on, we have so much urine-related cultural history! Just in the past 50 years, we've had people who've used their urine for everything from watering plants to drinking it (I believe that some people also flush it down their toilets. How wasteful of them). Besides all the historical precedents, however, we also have some more practical reasons for peeing wherever and whenever we feel like.

If you've ever seen a construction site in India, you've also probably seen one of the workers taking a leak by the side of the road near the site. It's not really their fault - where else can they pee? It's not like they have toilets or something. Personally, I think that's quite sad. If we can afford to have a house built, we can afford to give the poor chaps building the house a toilet, can't we? Or at least a place more private than the side of the road?

That's not what really amazes me, though. What's incredible to me is that I have seen well-dressed, early morning walkers peeing into the drain outside our house. These are not, do note, people who work for 12 hours a day constantly in an area without a toilet. These are people who, in all likelihood, have lovely, clean (also apparently underutilized) toilets at home.

You know what we ought to do? Every time we see one of these guys peeing at the side of the road, we ought to walk up to them and ask if they've had some manner of bladder surgery that's made it impossible for them to resist the urge to urinate. Or better yet - and this is something I really want to try - we ought to put up signs of Durga or some other equally horrifying-looking, axe-wielding deity and the words "You pee, I chop" up on our outside walls, because no one ever pees on pictures of deities, now do they?

I really wanted to leave you guys with some deep, thoughtful quote or poem about urination, 
but it turns out all the old dead guys didn't write about it very much, so you'll have to make do with this.
~Me                                                                                              

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Weighing In

Today, I'm writing about something I'm actually rather proud of. Today, I'm writing about my weight loss. Over the past ten months, I've lost 12 kilos.

My parents have been begging me to start exercising since eighth grade. When I was 13, they'd boot me out of the house every day at 5:00PM and make me go running. I hated it. I barely even bothered to run, let alone push myself or stick to a diet. I ate like a trash can, sat in front of the computer all day and did nothing at all about my rapidly swelling pot belly. By the time I'd turned 15, even Dad had given up any dreams of seeing me with a flat stomach. I'd trained myself to stop looking in the mirror, and I stayed out of pictures as much as possible.

Fast-forward to the present day: I weigh 69 kilos. My stomach has all but vanished. Looking in the mirror is a satisfying experience, and I even have some muscle on my arms. I can now fit in medium-size t-shirts, and whenever I wear my old jeans, I look li…

Exam Fever

As anyone currently in the twelfth will tell you, with varying levels of dismay, the final exams are right around the corner. Parents everywhere are seizing their children's phones and taking time off from work. Panicked screaming ensues at intervals.


I don't believe there's a person on the planet who genuinely enjoys exam season. Actually, I take that back - there's no one in India who enjoys exam season. Partially, I think this is our own fault. Exams are the most important things in an Indian student's life, so parents seem bent on bottling up all the worry and concern they have about their kid's education and allowing it to spew forth in a torrent of "No more video games!" and "Delete WhatsApp!" commands during the two months surrounding the exams. Small wonder, then, that at 17, I believe the purpose of exams is to seasonally blot the sunshine from otherwise happy lives.

This whole exam fever thing does have some upsides. Okay, one - it…